When life makes you take a break

February 22, 2018

 

Every time I walk through Maksimir (a park near to where I live) I become amazed by people who I often see jogging there. What amazes me, even more, are when I see people over 70 jogging and they don’t seem anything less vital than those who are young. Then I pause a little and ask myself where am I… Why do I keep postponing jogging my whole life? Why wouldn’t I start because I know how important that would be for me and my health. And then, after one conversation with my dear friend who likes to go jogging with her husband (who often runs marathons), I agreed that I will also start. I remember that day in November and how excited I was when I applied for my half-marathon which should be held in this April in Vienna. It was a huge challenge and a goal that I’ve set for myself and I wanted to accomplish it by any means. I wanted to prove myself that for my 50th birthday (which will be three days before the half-marathon) I can run those 21 kilometres. I already could have imagined myself running to the finish line while my friends and family are cheering. Not very long after applying, the pre-arrangement started. I was given a plan according to which I needed to do my running, so I started. Near to where I live there is a tartan track - ideal for preparation! Every time when I would go there I would feel light and happy because I was doing something good for myself. But when I would get there and start running, for me who never before did such a thing, was pretty tough. Sometimes when it would get really hard I would again imagine myself running to the finish line and that would give me a dose of adrenaline so I would feel like I was flying. I remember one day I needed to run 6 kilometres while it was snowing. Everyone was in their homes and I was the only the only one on the running track (crazy me!) The thick snow was falling on my face and the night was falling… The only visible thing were my footsteps as I was passing every new round on the track. There was some kind of a strange feeling that was running through my whole body.

 

I’m proud of myself because I finally could find some kind of a connection with running and nothing will stop me to accomplish my goal. Not only that I will do the half-marathon, but jogging will also be a part of my everyday life, I thought to myself. The more I was running, the more I started feeling pain in my knees and ankles. I thought it was normal for beginners to feel like that and I thought that it will be gone soon. But, my left leg ankle started to hurt even more, but I didn’t want to admit it because nothing was supposed to stop me accomplishing my goal. The pain in my ankle made me hold my leg in an uncomfortable position and that made it even worse. I couldn’t do it anymore, so I thought I needed to take a break for a few days but I didn’t consider giving up. My left leg got even worse even though I wasn’t running for four days. I couldn’t walk normally, but I had to do the shooting for the Living magazine (and many other things before it) what is not very easy even with a healthy leg. But, I did it anyway and I still have no idea how I managed. After I got home I decided to go to the ambulance and found out that I had a fracture. I have to rest, meaning NO RUNNING! My idea of getting to the final line of the half-marathon was gone. I felt like a loser long before it even started. Now, while I’m laying home with my broken leg I have more time to think about life. My belief that on some things in life we just cannot affect is becoming even stronger. Some things just happen whether we want it or not and they interrupt our plans. The only thing that we can do is calmly accept that and adjust to it because I believe everything that happens has its own reason. Someone up there is pulling the strings for us and doing what we need even when we’re not conscious of it. We need to recognise it and thank him for everything.

 

 

In my case, leg fracture made me take the rest I really needed but was avoiding. A person should sometimes just take a break and say to himself or herself “take it easy”. I don’t know how long it will take until my leg is fully healed but I know that for now, I won’t be able to run. Now is the time to really think about what is going to be my next goal and I should choose it wisely - it should be something I’m able to cope with ;)

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